And a Happy New Year…?

Please remember that this time of year can be very confusing for neurospicy folks. 

I sat and wondered why this year had been so quiet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been lovely. Close family, the occasional friend visiting, lots of time with my son and husband. But it got me thinking about occasions and organising them. 

The invite process is as confusing for me as crushes are to a teenager. 

Do they like me? 

They do like me? 

Should I talk to them? 

Do they want to talk to me? 

What if they’re busy? 

What if they’re lonely? 

What if they feel the same way as I do? 

And so on and so on. 

Simple friendships are hard to navigate after being burned so many times. Earlier in my life, I would say end of high school, beginning of university, I was very open and friendly. I would bounce up to people and ask if they wanted to hang out, or go for a drink. I would message them or call them up. I wouldn’t ever think if they wanted me around. 

Turns out, a lot of them didn’t. In fact most people didn’t want me around, unless they needed something. I was told by a drunken first year, when in my second year of university. 

“Yeah, everybody calls you Fat Jayne, didn’t you know? It’s common knowledge”

I spoke to some of my friends about it and they said they knew but tried to not let me find out. And honestly, I really did appreciate that. 

I know that I was full on and very over friendly. Looking back I can see I was like a drunk Labrador puppy… but I do believe I wasn’t as mentally mature as everyone around me. I felt like a kid in a room full of adults. I now know that it was autism. Funny how most people around me could see it and I couldn’t. 

There were many other incidences like this too. And some which I have never resolved. Mainly the question, “Did they actually like me?”. 

After so much hurt, I speak when spoken to, I go when invited and I always feel that everyone is just being nice and can’t wait to move away. It’s the safest. 

Especially at this time of year, please reach out to your neurospicy friends. Drop them a message and let them know how things are. They could be sat wondering if you actually want them around. If their experiences are like mine, they won’t be organising parties, just incase no one comes. They won’t be sending messages incase it bothers people. (I can sometimes see people rolling their eyes in my head as I press send) They won’t be inviting themselves to the “open invitation” because what if people are “just being nice”. 

Just be honest. 

Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings. ❤️❄️☃️🎅🏻🌨️🎄🕎🌰🎉🥳🎊🎍