Education

In my life I am always teaching. 

I teach my son how to be a good citizen and how to look after himself. I teach my students how to play various instruments. I teach myself how to manage certain situations. I never stop learning about music, life and people. 

Yesterday I had to make a choice. 

As you know, I am fairly open about my family unit and our autism and my boy has an appointment next week with the Autism and ADHD team. To make time for this I'm having to cancel a few lessons so I mentioned it to a student that there would not be a lesson next week. Of course, the student asked why, so I told them.  To me it's no big deal, we are who we are, but this student looked at me with such sadness. 

"Oh, I didn't know. I am so sorry." they said, with regards to my son's autism. 

In that moment, I had a choice to make. 

Do I take offence at this very innocent and caring reaction? 

Do I shrug it off and say "thanks" and move on? 

Or do I take this opportunity to educate?

Which would you choose?

I chose to educate, as I can't help myself. Haha! 

My instant reaction inside was warm and I could see that this young person felt compassion for the autistic struggle, either on an observational or personal level. I was not offended at all and I could see their discomfort at the news that I had shared. 

With a smile I said, "There's nothing to be sorry about. I'm autistic too. It's our super power. It's made me the musician I am today. It's gifted me with a sharp memory and passion for my career."

This also made them smile. I felt that they then didn't have to feel bad for us, because there was nothing to feel bad for. Everyone has their personal struggle, whether it's autism or anything else life throws at us. In that moment I decided to give them a positive about our personalities, the good side of our condition which is rarely spoken about, unless its stereotypically portrayed on a television screen. 

I know there will be criticism for how open I am with mine and my family's condition category and don't worry, I don't go into gory details about our personal struggles publicly. But to shed a little light on the positives of autism gives us a reason to hold our heads high and be proud of who we are. 

Yes, we have struggles. And depending on where a person is on the spectrum is to how great those struggles are, but I honestly believe that for me, autism gives as much as it takes away. I hold the title with pride and take the rough with the smooth, because I know I wouldn't be me without it. I was born with it, I will live with it and it will never leave me, because its knitted into my human fibres like any other part of my personality.

I have never seen a superhero movie where the hero in question doesn't struggle with their powers as much as they use them for good. There is always a wish to be normal and not hold the burden, but they continue to shoulder it, knowing that it is who they are. 

Now obviously, I am not Spiderman. (if only...) And my superpower is genetic, not granted by a mysterious, radioactive spider. And don't worry, I'm not going to try swinging from buildings. But I do feel I can draw somewhat of a parallel. I know that my autism brought about my musicianship and that, in turn, is passed on to my students. Not only that, but I think it's nice that I can provide a different story on how an autistic person can live their life. However they want to. 

I feel good knowing that I can show a little light at the end of the tunnel for a person or parent struggling with a diagnosis and wondering whether this is the end. It's not. There can and will be a wonderful, powerful and magical life there. You just have to embrace your superpower and channel it. 

Much love

JWD