What do I want to be when I grow up?

So, I wrote this 4 years ago and never published it as I couldn’t finish it. Today, I feel like I can. 

“What do I actually want to be? 

"But Jayne, you're 32! Of course you know what you want to be, you're a grown up!"

That's what we are lead to believe, isn't it. But really I wouldn't say that at all. 

At this time of year (GCSE and A Level exam time in the UK) I have kids coming for lessons who are facing the pressure of this question from their whole world. One student came in and told me, through a lot of tears, that teachers had told them this week that if they didn't get certain results in their GCSEs, they would never get a job, something I know to be complete rubbish. 

We are given an impression from a very early age that we need to know exactly what we want to do and then expected to achieve it. I felt lucky that I knew from being in primary school what I wanted to be, but what if that changes? What if the golden ideal of that particular job is not what it seems when you get anywhere close? 

As for me, I have always been hyper focused on becoming a teacher and now I am one. But something I have found is that, especially recently, is it enough?”

This is interesting as I remember feeling this way. It’s a feeling I had up until I took a leap last year and applied for my master’s degree. I’m now in my second year, great scores last year on all assignments and I can honestly say, I still want to be a teacher. Im growing up with this profession and everyday witnessing how amazing it can be. This is why I haven’t written in a while but it’s so wonderful to see people are still reading this blog. 

Universities are so much better at assisting and understanding autism and I do want to write a post about my uni experience, but not now. There’s a lot cooking at the moment, but I am still here!