When is it our turn?

Over the past few weeks things have been getting tougher. 

First, I want to apologise to everyone who has texted, called, messaged etc. I’m sorry I’ve not replied yet, I will, I just need a bit more time. 

House buying is a tricky one for everyone. I’ve found that it brings out the worst in people, mainly people we have only met once or twice. So far we are waiting on a decision for house number 7. Yes, 7, in 18 months. We haven’t been the luckiest. You see, because of our low income, we decided to go for the shared ownership scheme. For those that don’t know, this is a method in which you buy part of the house and rent the other part in partnership with a local housing association. Then eventually you buy up the remaining shares and own the house outright or sell your share and move house. 

As you can imagine, shared ownership is quite popular so when you see one, you go for it. Each house application usually comes with a 9 page form, complete transparency of your bank statements, surrender of IDs and a small portion of your soul. Most houses are new builds with a 10 year guarantee, so they all look pretty nice which means everyone wants one. 

Anyway, this isn’t an advert for UK housing schemes, this is an autism blog. 

We followed all the rules on every property. We did everything required. This is how the world shapes autistic people. We do as we’re told and people won’t be pissed off. Follow the formula and you’ll get where you need to go. We did all of this. We still have no house. The worst so far was a few applications ago. We’ll call it 23. 

In the case of 23, we got there first. It was a resale but only 3 years old. We viewed it, liked it, filled out the forms, submitted the gubbins, did everything and were accepted. Our offer too was then accepted, so we hired a lawyer, sorted a mortgage, picked out wall papers (we had to, they painted the interior mud brown…) and then i got a phone call. “I’m sorry Mrs WD, they’ve decided not to sell, the ex-husband wants to keep it for himself.” In one sentence, 3 months of work was shattered. The sale aborted and we had spent £800 for no return. 

We are now facing this again. Same estate agent (poor guy, having to deal with emotional me) same street, different house. We were given first look around, we filled out and submitted the forms, submitted an offer, they said they were keen, we believed them, now we’re 3 weeks down the line, they have more people viewing it (9 different parties), haven’t responded to our offer and are leading us on. They know we want it and are holding out for as much as they can get.

I know what you’re going to say, “This is just how it is, why are you being so dramatic?” Well, random person with an opinion, like I said before, I cannot understand how people have a flagrant disregard for rules. I know we’re not all the same but having a complete disregard for rules, promises, people’s feelings, hurts my brain and they are  going against everything I’ve ever known. Plus just to add insult to injury, our whole lives are tied up until we get an answer, one way or the other. All funds have to be proven and no extra spending is allowed. You’ll see from my previous post, I have no car as Gordon was crushed, I can’t get a new one (or a 2nd hand one). It’s my son’s birthday next week, we are sweating over pennies trying to make sure he has a great day after a mins melting year. We’re also in our 30’s and blowing money on rent every month and would like to have a little something of our own.

I feel that maybe this isn’t too much to ask… or maybe it is. I hear a lot of “It’ll happen when the time is right” and see a lot of people winning the house game on their first try. Maybe part of my issue is jealousy, but I still can’t understand why we have followed rules 7 times only to come out with battered feelings and sore hearts. I know I should be grateful for what I’ve got and I most certainly am, but that doesn’t ease the pain. 

We’re still waiting now, hopefully they will agree but after everything, I just don’t think I’m that lucky.