My Safe Place

This moment is not the best moment to be writing anything. I’m currently sat on a train from Manchester, feeling weary and a little broken (so much joint pain!) but I also fee like I’m glowing at the same time. 

Last night was incredible. 

Last night, I was in my safe place. A place I’ve not been able to go to because of Covid-19. 

Now, for all autistic people, their safe place, comfort zone, what ever you want to call it, is different. We all have different sensory do’s and don’t’s. I can guarantee you that my safe place would be another autistic’s version of hell and ultimate discomfort. But to me, it’s paradise. My way to reconnect, recharge, reestablish after everything gets so busy and frustrating that I don’t know who I am anymore. (House purchase, lack of car, you get it.) 

Manchester has always felt like a second home to me. I lived and studied there for 5(ish) years, before University I was there every weekend for 3 years and that’s not including going for events, shopping trips etc. It feels right. The faint hum of people everywhere, the sounds and smells of busses whizzing past you, the food choices (So much food!!), the fact it never sleeps and everything you need is there. 

So, here’s what happened last night. We look the train to Manchester after a long day’s teaching. We checked into our hotel (very cushie, low noise, air conditioning, Motel One, definitely recommend) and then headed off in search of dinner. Manchester is great for not needing plans. I’m usually the type of gal who needs a firm plan, but not in my second home! Found Nudo Sushi box 🍣 . Yum yum yum!! Food was wonderful (and healthy! We were going to get a burger, glad we decided otherwise…) Then we slowly meandered down to the O2Ritz to see Newton Faulkner!!

For those of you who don’t know who that is, get on Spotify NOW! He’s amazing! 

Gigs are wonderful places for me. Sensational sounds wrapping around you like a soft, warm duvet, the bass and drums replacing your heartbeat inside your chest, the bounce of the floor as the room ripples with joyful stomping. I stim without prying, judgemental stares as all eyes are on the stage and most people in the scrum are moving freely and singing along anyway. The artists I book tickets for are selected carefully as it is a rare treat however with Covid-19 this rare treat became extinct, never to be seen again. However, two years on, just like in Jurassic Park, the extinct has come back to life.

It felt normal. 

Just for that night. 

Yes we had to have LF tests done, no we weren’t crushed together like sardines or diving in a mosh pit (Moshing to Newton Faulkner… 🤔) but we were there, and it was worth all the leg and back ache this morning. I can’t remember the last time I willingly stood for nearly 3 hours (proper gig, small venue, no seats)

Now back to the norm, the day job. 

But for a night, I remembered who I was before covid.