Rules are made to be broken?

We would definitely disagree. 

There is something wonderfully comforting about rules. 

No ambiguity, no-one shouting "You should have known that!" or "How could you be so stupid?", just plain, simple guidelines for life, love and friendship. 

When we follow the rules, we live by them. It's a safety net for us be sure of our footing in day to day activities. Some have said autistics are "rule bound" like were stuck in a spider's web of laws and regulations, but it doesn't feel that way to me. Rather than being stuck in a sticky mess, unable to move, it's more like being snuggled in a thick blanket not wanting to move. Knowing the guidelines for life is like permanently walking around in an Oodie. (If you don't know what this triumph of fashion is, please google it, you'll be amazed.) 

But what happens to us if someone else breaks the rules in front of us? 

Well, in my son's case, it's not pleasant at all. Many a time I have had a call from school, or a teacher has had a word at the end of the day because my boy has turned into a police officer and nearly arrested another student for wrongdoing. The way it's viewed seems to be that he's angry because others go against the rules, but that's not how it looks to me, or what he's reported to me. He feels confused because they don't follow the rules that he needs to make sense of the world. How can you break something that saves you? It's not that he's an uppity little lad that snitches on classmates, its that he doesn't understand how someone can turn on a system that is there to help them and provide peace and protection. Autistic people generally have a very strong sense of right and wrong. Granted, not everyone follows the right path, autistics and neurotypicals alike, but the feeling of either being with or against the rules, is very strong indeed. 

Now, in this instance I don't mean the, 'you should've known that', 'born with it', 'absorbed by osmosis in the womb', social rules. Those are different and still baffling to me and other autistics alike. I mean the, 'no running at the swimming pool', 'take your shoes off before entering', 'no hats on at dinner' rules. 

This is why losing our house this week was so painful. 

Now, when I say "Our house", it's not our house. It's the house we were in the process of buying. We are not homeless! We still live in our lovely little rented house, but this was to be our first house purchase as a family. I have written before about the milestones of life and how anxious they make me. Well, owning our own home before 35 is one of them. (This drives the other half mad...) 

Anyway, we found a house, viewed the house, application accepted (Shared ownership), put an offer in, offer was accepted, mortgage in place, solicitors on the case aaaaaaaaand...... bang. They pulled out of the sale after 3 months of paperwork, people and processes. 

My initial reaction was, "But I followed the rules! WHEN WE FOLLOW THE RULES THINGS WORK!" But the rules we live by and cling to, don't account for human behaviour and unpredictability. I have no idea how a neurotypical would respond, but I still feel saddened by it and its been a week. I did everything they wanted me to, I gave them the fastest responses, the clearest answers, I made myself sick over getting everything done quickly and to the letter and it still got me nowhere. The only thing I can do is chalk it up to experience and not be so quick to trust. 

What a sad world, that we can't follow rules and trust others. 

There will be other houses, there will be more time. This offers little comfort when someone can let you jump through so many hoops and throw £800 to the wind, before announcing that they don't want to sell anymore. I'm sure this is a one off case of selfishness, however I will always be wary of it. I hate how unpredictable people are, how quick they can turn, how they can lie to your face and you don't know it. But this is a different topic and fuel for another article. 

For now, I have one last thing to say:

Rules are made to be broken? I think not.